Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Whispery Silvery

"I don't remember what it was like before," I murmur dreamily.

"Before what?" she asks, the sharp edge of her voice cutting into me.

Cutting into me.
Metal on flesh.
Blade on armour.

"Before the destruction of self-destruction," I whisper.

Whispers in the wind catch my thoughts.
Snatch them.
Steal them away into the fluffy white clouds.
Empty me.
Clean me.

My canvas could be wiped clean of marks, of those scars that brand me. They could disappear, in her mind. I could have bare skin so pale it blinds the moonlight, free of silvery licks.

She doesn't understand though.
Scars are the tip of the iceberg.
She doesn't see the deep wounds buried underneath.

Nothing will fully heal. Nothing will disappear. 

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Swiiiimming isn't so bad alone.

"The air's soupy," Nova remarks, wiping sweat off her forehead. "Soupy and hot."
Ellie smiles, that far off look in her eyes again.
"The water's probably cold," she says after a moment, as if it were a sudden realization.
Nova nods and takes off running. The lake ahead, the sand behind her, it's perfect.
She dips her feet in, rolling her pants legs up and cuffing them over themselves. She's worried, though. The water's everywhere.
Ellie starts trailing behind her, and Nova feels safe for a short moment.
Eventually, the cool water edges up past her cuffs and to her knees, while Ellie lifts her dress up farther and farther to escape it getting wet.
The day is foggy, and in any picture, it would look cold. But it's one of those things, because it's baking the two girls alive.
"We could swim," Ellie laughs. "We're already very wet."
Nova shrinks into herself and tries not to cry.
I'm in water, she thinks. How the hell am I in water?
For a moment she considers arguing, but instead grabs Ellie's hand and goes farther out to sea.
The two of them smile anxiously at each other for a second, then slip under water completely.
Safe together, because only they understand.